What is it about Fuller that created an experience unlike that of other academic institutions? I’ve tried to answer that question with each prospective student I met over the past couple of years. Fuller is a seminary that chose the road less traveled – that of full academic liberty within the Christian context. They avoid the process of indoctrination, but instead support the challenging of and deconstructing of the student’s faith. Each scholar confronts theological inconsistencies, wrestles with life’s difficult questions, and discovers at their core who they are; as an individual and a faith community. This process allows for one to admit their doubts as well as own their remaining faith without apology.
To the institution I say thank you for being one of the few Christian establishments that has the courage to trust - to provide the freedom that allowed for me to critically analyze theology in all its various forms; drawing my own conclusions regardless of where it led - even when these assumptions fell outside of what some would define as conservative orthodoxy. Thank you for modeling what you teach – equality, diversity, and most of all faith. Thank you for being led by it first and foremost trusting that God’s Spirit is working in and among your student-body; and believing that I too can hear that still small voice leading me into all of God’s truth. In a religious system whose theology is often driven by fear, I have now internalized what it means to hold my faith without it.
I will be eternally grateful that you challenged my theological presuppositions, deconstructed my faulty assumptions and left me unsure of what I believe. I know my journey of reconstruction will be difficult, but the truths that remain are internalized in a way that no institution or individual will ever be able to censure again. To my many professors I say thank you for teaching me about God’s grace. Your willingness to meet me in the questions during the height of many crises taught me more than any attended lecture and reminded me that a journey of faith is just that – a journey and not a destination. Yours is a faith that I continue to seek after.
With a heavy heart I say goodbye to a group of people that have filled my life with so much love, acceptance and joy. My academic passage would not have been what it has been without the extraordinary community of students that attend Fuller. I am continually impressed by the quality of people I have been privileged to attend school with. Each and every one of you is beautiful beyond compare. Your talent, intelligence and strength of character never cease to amaze me. You touched my heart in deeply profound ways and I am so grateful for your curiosity, your willingness to listen and share yourselves; and most of all the unconditional love extended to me during some very difficult circumstances. You too modeled grace and I am changed for the better because I have known you. I am going to miss this collective group of people deeply, but I know you will profoundly touch many others in the same way you have touched me – from the bottom of my heart I say thank you and I love you.
A very special message goes to my inner circle. I don’t think I would be walking across that stage if it wasn’t for the commitment each of you repeatedly shows me. To my recovery peeps, ours is and continues to be a unique journey of faith. Unfortunately, our lives intersected with darkness in a way that many others have fortunately been spared. The commonality of this knowledge has made your friendship vital in ways not easily articulated, but silently understood. Thank you for your inner resilience and tenacious spirit that moves you to rise above the ashes – each of you inspire me to do the same. To the PhD student that will remain nameless, but knows who he is. Thank you for teaching me that strength can be found in vulnerability and it is worth the risk. Carenda – my covenant friend you are grace personified. When looking back on my time at Fuller you will be first and foremost in my mind as one who set aside everything to sit silently in places that required no words. Cameron – my kindred spirit, you boldly went where most men fear to tread. Your love and loyalty has forever changed me, thank you.
Goodbye Fuller and thank you for making God's grace so much more than an intellectual concept, but a moment by moment experienced reality.
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